How to Prepare for Divorce Mediation

You’re facing a divorce and how you’re wondering how to prepare for divorce mediation. A successful mediation can avoid a long and costly divorce proceeding, and be the first step to starting your new life. Although this is an emotionally tough time, you need to do your best to be level headed and think clearly. A divorce mediator can help you come to a mutually beneficial arrangement in the dissolution of your marriage. Divorce mediation involves three areas; emotional, financial, and legal. Here are some tips on how to prepare for divorce mediation so you can walk out of the proceedings with all you deserve.

Emotional Preparation

In the first phase of your divorce, and probably during the entire process, you will be on an emotional rollercoaster. It is important for you to prepare yourself before your divorce mediation so that you can keep a level head and make decisions based on intellect and not emotions. This is perhaps the hardest part of how to prepare for divorce mediation. A few of the questions to ask yourself as you prepare for your mediation include the following;

Am I emotionally strong enough to go through the mediation process?

Can I stand up for myself and ask for what I want and need?

Can I trust my partner?

During the mediation you will have to be in the same room with your soon to be ex. This can be very stressful. If you don’t think you can stand looking at them, you may want to consider telephone mediation. The mediator will try to keep things balanced, but unless you can stand up for yourself and ask for what you think you deserve, they can’t read your mind. Realize you will have to be your own best advocate. During a divorce it is natural not to trust your partner. During mediation trust must come into play so that you will both walk away with mutually beneficial arrangements.

The last three years tax returns, both federal and state along with the accompanying forms such as your W-2’s.

The last month’s pay stubs.

Copies of your most recent bank statements, credit card bills, money market statements, and IRA/401K statements.

If you own a home you will need to bring a market valuation, a copy of the deed, and a copy of the mortgage statement.

Any car loans and the information about the vehicles you own.

Copies of last month’s household bills including groceries, maintenance, personal care, utilities, car insurance, and any other monthly bill.

Financial Preparation

Divorce mediation deals a lot with the financial aspects of divorce. You must be prepared with the proper documentation so that your financial concerns are met during the mediation. This is one of the most important areas when asking how to prepare for divorce mediation. Bring the following to the proceedings:

Legal Preparation

You’ve already taken the first step on trying to reach an amicable divorce settlement by choosing mediation. Whether or not you choose to include an attorney in the proceedings depends on the complexity of your case, if you feel you can trust your soon to be ex, and your comfort level of dealing with the legal aspects on your own. A lawyer will act in your best interest and may be one option you want to explore when you think about how to prepare for divorce mediation. Many lawyers offer a first time free consultation, so you may want to speak with one before the mediation proceedings. This will help you find out if you are ready to go it alone, or need legal assistance.

Divorce is never easy; it is second in stress levels only to the death of a loved one. Divorce mediation can help relieve some of this stress if you are prepared and have legal representation to look out after your best interests. Keep these points in mind as you research how to prepare for divorce mediation, and take the first step to your new life as a single man or woman.


At Divorce Mediation Centers of Texas, we know how difficult divorce is for a couple or a family and we know that divorce mediation in Plano, TX can take away some of the stress of a divorce. We know because we handle divorce mediations every day. Not only is there an emotional toll taken on all of the parties concerned, there is also a financial toll in the form of attorney’s fees and lost time at work for court dates and more.

A divorce mediator is essentially a neutral third party who helps you and your spouse to decide important issues of separation like division of assets and child custody. Unlike an arbitrator, a mediator doesn’t make decisions, he or she just facilitates communication. If you and your spouse are currently considering a divorce, you should know that divorce mediation can make the process a little less stressful and a lot less expensive. Here are just some of the benefits of divorce mediation:

▸ Mediation costs less than multiple court hearings and a trial.
▸ Mediation is confidential with no public record of what is said in mediation sessions.
▸ Mediations, for the most part, end in a settlement of all disputes.
▸ Mediation lets you and your spouse arrive at resolutions based on your own needs and willingness to compromise and not on a set of arbitrary and impersonal laws.
▸ Mediation lets you and your spouse, not the court, control the separation process.
▸ Mediation often allows spouses to clear the air, which can lead to more open honest, communication between them. This has benefits that extend beyond the divorce.

Unless there is such rancor in your relationship that even the thought of discussing divorce mediation is impossible, it can be a powerful tool that you should consider because it can keep both of you from spending more money on attorney’s fees than is necessary – although some people still feel more comfortable having an attorney engaged as a backup for questions of legality – and can allow both of you to have your say in a safe, neutral setting.

At Divorce Mediation Centers of Texas, we can guide you through the process of divorce mediation in Plano, TX, which may include private sessions with each party to discuss wants and needs in addition to sessions together. It will likely also include the signing of confidentiality agreements for all involved, including the mediator himself. We’ll make sure that your negotiating sessions take place in a comfortable but safe environment and that each party gets to make a statement of their needs in front of the other before discussion begins.

To find out more about divorce mediation in Plano, TX and how it may be beneficial for you, your spouse and your family, call us at Divorce Mediation Centers of Texas at (469) 630-3400 or visit us online at

Divorce Mediation Plano TX
Divorce Mediation Centers of Texas (DMCofT)
2329 Coit Road, Suite B
Plano, Texas 75075
(469) 630-3400

Successfully Exiting a Marriage with Long Island Divorce Mediation Support

More couples deciding to end a difficult marriage are choosing alternative dispute resolution techniques like Divorce Mediation and Long Island family law specialists to help them navigate the process. In New York, couples have several non-traditional paths for marriage dissolution in addition to divorce mediation, among them a relatively new approach called Collaborative Divorce.

Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Family Law enable couples who want to terminate their marriage to work out their differences in an environment that is less structured and more relaxed. These alternative dispute resolution methods help divorcing couples on Long Island reach solutions without ever going to trial in a Nassau County or Suffolk County courtroom.

While there may not really be a “good divorce,” couples who make a commitment to control the vitriol and focus on strengthening post-marriage communication often find that adjusting to life after divorce is easier on everyone, including their children. When a marriage ends, poor communication impacts relationships inside and outside the immediate family. Friends, extended family members, creditors and employers are also directly affected.

Divorce mediation professionals seek to mitigate the negative impact by helping couples establish ground rules that encourage a tone of mutual dignity and respect even when the overarching emotions may be anger, fear and mistrust. Communication is instrumental and encouraged by attorneys who recognize the benefits of divorce mediation in Long Island marriage dissolution cases.

I. Understanding Long Island Divorce Mediation Goals

Even though the divorcing parties don’t go before a judge, it is critical that everyone understands the rules before signing a Participation Agreement. It is important to understand that a final solution is the main goal of divorce mediation. When divorcing spouses sign a Participation Agreement, they agree that should the process break down before a final agreement is reached, all lawyers and engaged professionals are precluded from transitioning from a divorce mediation model to a traditional divorce litigation model.

Lawyers and spouses must agree to be forthcoming and honest about all assets and liabilities. Before discussing spousal support and distribution of assets, each spouse must reveal budgetary needs and available income. Sharing these pieces of information is often difficult when one partner doesn’t trust the other, or when one spouse is afraid that divulging this information may open the door to burdensome demands.

Long Island divorce mediators and lawyers may recommend inviting other professionals to closed-door meeting. In mediation, a neutral accountant, child psychologists or educational consultant can help inform and educate spouses based on their experience or information gathered independently by interviewing children privately, reviewing tax and employment records or reviewing research on specific points of interest and concern. Along with specialists in divorce mediation, Long Island certified financial planner’s help individuals reach realistic agreements that ensure each new household is financially prepared to move forward.

Coaches and paraprofessionals encourage cooperation. Since the goal of divorce mediation is to reach a fair resolution for everyone, calling in a communication coach to assist with dialog may sometimes help. Coaches keep both parties focused on projecting a clear message aimed at reaching solutions and not trying to score points in the “best argument game.”

II. Successfully Exiting the Marriage

Traditional divorce litigation models, in particular contested divorces and cases involving abuse or endangerment, usually mean there are winners and losers when the judge issues the final decree of divorce.

While the idea of two warring spouses engaging in calm, productive conversations that lead to workable solutions for everyone is foreign to many people, the process saves time, money and frustration for those willing to participate.

Although it is likely neither spouse will exit the marriage with everything he or she originally expected, the negotiation process encourages a thorough exploration and dialog of important concerns in a framework that enables compromise without total surrender.

Collaborative Divorce and Divorce Mediation on Long Island typically ends with a win-win exit. Family law attorney Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. Says that by participating in divorce mediation, Long Island couples have access to proven communication techniques that help them settle their differences with open and honest communication, and not pursue confrontational legal remedies. It’s an option worth considering for your Long Island divorce.

What Is Divorce Mediation

When seeking a divorce, it is very important to choose the right legal advice to fight for you. Instead of working with a lawyer, it is better to work with a trained mediator as it offers lots of help, and relief in the divorce proceedings.

If both spouses decide on a single divorce mediator, they can share the cost, which may be about $1,000 to $5,000 total. With separate lawyers, each will have to pay a retainer of $1,500 just to start the proceedings. With divorce mediation, it is you, the couple who decides on how quickly or slowly the divorce decisions are made and the terms of the divorce in the Marital Settlement Agreement. Everything here is done through an agreement unlike a divorce where the attorneys set dates and judges, which takes time.

When applying for a divorce, you may face difficulties understanding laws and the paperwork that is involved with it. However with divorce mediation, all the paperwork is done by your mediator. The trauma the children face in a divorce is less with divorce mediation as they know that the parents are working together, and will not involve them.

With a divorce mediation, your marriage ends on a happier tone, where you can face your future with a better attitude. There is no steadfast rule that you have to give up going to the court with divorce mediation. If you are not satisfied with the rulings of the mediator, you can always have an individual attorney and let the judge give the final judgment. Whatever was discussed in mediation will remain a secret, and the divorce proceedings start afresh.

You can avail of sufficient legal information from the divorce mediator on making fair and just decisions. Attorneys are not permitted to advise either party; only their client. However the mediator can discuss how the court may address issues relating to your case. The mediator also encourages you both to approach individual attorneys for legal advice before agreeing to the Marital Settlement Agreement.

With a divorce, there is always the possibility of anger getting out of control in the courtroom. However, with a divorce mediator, you can voice your emotions and with their help, come across a fair decision. There is no chance of your emotions controlling the decision making process. You can be sure that all information exchanged in divorce mediation is and remains confidential. You are both encouraged to see the positive sides in each other to reach an amicable agreement. This helps in retaining goodwill in matters needing future contact between the two like in parenting.

When choosing a divorce mediator, make sure that they are knowledgeable in family law and counseling, child development and meditation process. With a mediator, a team of mental health professionals and attorneys your divorce mediation runs better. Find out their experience as those with an experience of at least ten cases is the better choice. To find out the benefit of divorce mediation, listing out the pros and cons of your divorce proceedings will show you that the divorce mediation is indeed a better choice for you.